I have been married for almost 6 months now. (“Awww!”) When you get engaged people ask you all kinds of questions;
“When is the big day?”
“How many bridesmaids do you have?”
“Are you excited?”
“Are you ready?”
“Are you sure you want to get married so young?”
“Where are you going on your honeymoon?”
But now that I’m married I mostly hear only one question.
“How is married life?”
I usually say something along the lines of “It’s good, I like it.” How do you answer this question? Marriage is so much more than good. I have had a hard time encompassing what marriage is like. Today, I opened the cabinet to get a bag of chips and I found the answer to the question.
My husband used a mouse trap as a chip clip. We have chip clips, four of them. But this is what I found in the cabinet today. And it inspired me to write a blog, and answer the question “How is married life?”
Married life is folding clothes together on the living room floor. Married life is checking your husbands temperature and rubbing his back while he has the flu. Married life is crying on your husbands lap. Married life is praying for each other and with each other. Married life is stealing kisses in the grocery store. Married life is joining a new family and loving them more than you thought you could. Married life having a garage full of light sabers and Darth Vader helmets, because you couldn’t bear to make him give them away. Married life is having someone in your corner when it feels like the world is falling apart. Married life is having a cheerleader when things come together again. Married life is laughing until your sides hurt. Married life is dreaming of a future together. Married life is building that future. Married life is dancing in the kitchen. Married life is walking the dogs. Married life is work. Married life is fun. Married life is exciting. Married life is a mouse trap on the tortilla chips. Married life is hilarious. Married life is everything and more.
Marriage is the most perfect picture of the gospel. It’s also hard. It’s also amazing. I strive every day to be a good wife, some days I rock, and some days I’m rotten. But that man is always right there next to me, holding me. Six months in we still have a long way to go to being like those sweet older couples who still hold hands and walk through the park, but I love every second of the journey. Married life is good.
She is clothed with strength and Old Navy jeans 
Married life SHOULD be these things but it isn’t. At least it would be nice if it was like this. In reality, life happens. Kids happen. You NEVER go to the grocery together. You don’t fold laundry on the floor together. You don’t “steal kisses” or dance in the kitchen or walk the dogs. In REAL LIFE, you both work. You gain 30lbs, have different interests, have a kid. You spend your time shuttling said kid to and from private school, arguing over finances, and food, and the dog NEVER gets walked. There isn’t time. Enjoy it while your “honeymoon” lasts because it won’t last forever.
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Your life sucks. I work 55 hours a week and still steal kisses. We still grocery shop together, and dance in the kitchen ALL the time. Mostly to a laughing gorgeous little girl who will grow up seeing what it’s like to be truly happy and in love. I feel sorry for you…
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My husband and I both work, we have three kids and have been married for five years now. We still go grocery shopping together, kids and all…usually both of us regretting one of us didn’t stay in the car, lol, but we laugh about it! We still laugh together, play together, and sneak kisses anywhere! We both work full time, but I’ll tell you what, if you guys really pray together, and let each other how thankful to God you are for each other, that’s exactly how your marriage will be. Are there bad days? yes. Are there hard times, absolutely! But…we still have each other at the end of the day. We would rather be with each other than anywhere else. Life gets busy, especially with kids, yeah you gain weight, yes you will argue over money from time to time…but if you don’t stop to enjoy your partner every once and awhile…your marriage will become exactly what you are describing. It doesn’t have to stop being full of bliss because life happens. If you remember to enjoy each other, laugh together, cry together, and take part in each others’ interest…you will experience this. And of course, pray together. Believe me the difference it makes when a couple prays at the end of the day together, thanking the Lord for each other. It will lift you and your marriage up. I don’t know who you are, but I will be praying for you and that your marriage can be as fun as it once was when you first fell in love with each other!
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I absolutely love your description so much better! I’ve been married 13 years and your description nailed what it’s really like after the honeymoon phase!
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Wow, I’m sorry your life is like that, but you have to realize that’s not the case for everyone. There are plenty of married couples who still steal kisses, pray together, grocery shop together, dance, take care of pets, etc. after many years. My parents have been married nearly 30 years and they certainly do all these things. (And they both work full time too). It’s about putting God first, prioritizing your marriage, and remembering to enjoy your life together. I’m a newlywed, and I know disagreements happen, I know there will be challenges, but I fully believe that when you put God first in your marriage, He can fill your marriage with joy, peace, and love.
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Wow. Way to be a Debbie Downer — and miss the whole point of the post. The whole point is that marriage is the good AND the bad. And if you’re NEVER doing anything like stealing kisses or folding laundry together, maybe some priorities need reconsidering. It only take a second (literally) to steal a kiss, and folding a load of laundry takes less than ten minutes.
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Sheesh. Some of you commenters are taking this post way too literally. The author wasn’t suggesting that every single married couple has to do all of these exact things, any more than Proverbs 31 teaches that every woman in the world needs to literally buy a field. It’s painting a picture of a real-life marriage that, like every marriage, has its ups and downs, its pleasant moments and its not-so-pleasant moments.
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Truth! Married life is great, at times. But its also hard, aggravating, and sometimes sad. I love my husband and he loves me, but we both work hard at our relationship daily. Married life is worth it tnough .
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I’ve been married for 7 years this July, we have 3 children now. We don’t fold laundry on the floor together. But we do steal kisses, we do on occasion dance in the kitchen, we absolutely take family walks (including pets). We’ve had disagreements but never had a fight. We don’t argue about finances or food – we don’t have any “hot button” issues. If we’re still in the “honeymoon” then praise God we’ll stay in it.
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That’s sad. I’m sorry it’s not like that for you but it doesn’t mean it’s like that for everyone. 4 years and 2 kids later, we are still in the honeymoon phase.
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Married life IS WHAT TWO PEOPLE MAKE IT. Maybe your married life is that way but mine is not, also not perfect either. It is hard but it is worth it. I love my husband even when he gets on my nerves or pushes my buttons. We don’t fold clothes together on the floor sometimes we don’t have time to fold them together at all but when we do, we sit on our bed and fold them. We don’t always change the baby together but I promise the other isn’t far away if needed. We both chip in during our sons bath. It’s always how was your day and a sorry when it’s needed. It works because we both work on it together. 😉
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We’ve been married 22 years. ANd it is so much better than when we were newlyweds. Yes, we still laugh together and cry together and pray together. Rarely do we gro shop together, but that’s because we have 2 teenagers to corral and chaperone and supervise and discipline and love. It’s better because we’ve developed such a bond and a trust over those 20 years. I know beyond any shadow of doubt she’ll love me in sickness and health. SHe has. I know she’ll love me for rich or for poor. She has. I know she’s my best friend, my lover, my trusted confidante, my partner, my wife. Marriage is indeed whatever YOU and your partner make it. I know. I was married before to a woman who was none (ok, very few) of those things. But I was not a true friend or partner to her either, so I got what I deserved. Fool me once — shame on you. I did it right the second time around.
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Pretty soon people will start asking “so, when are you starting a family?”
The truth is, you already have. Congratulations and best of luck. Your husbsnd’s chip clip made me LOL(really and truly). If/when the baby question becomes annoying, feel free to borrow my response.
“I can’t have children.”
As they stammer through an apology, feel free to ad “oh, I’m physically capable, I just don’t like them”
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*add. Stupid phone
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